Microphobias

So, my mother says to me this morning while we're getting the boys dressed, "You know the boys have a toy with a magnet in the bottom?" Stupidly, because I'm thinking of her as my mom and not as a victim of American media, I think that she's found a piece and is trying to figure out where it goes.

"Yeah, we have two. The little ducks that go on top of the music box."

"Well, I only mention it because you know if one of the boys swallows a couple of magnets they could constrict on either side of the intestines and kill them."

Seriously?

So, I said, "Don't worry, given the size of the ducks, he'd choke on it before it got anywhere near his intenstines."

She was then the unfortunate recipient of one of my "This is what's wrong with America" tirades - specifically, the overinflated fear of things that have such a remote possibility of ever happening.

And just in case she thought I was exaggerating, the morning news show had a piece on "How to protect yourself against a gunman in the mall" (I'm NOT making this up.) You know, given the shootings in Omaha. (By the way, it was amusing to hear Wolff Blitzer apologize for mistakenly calling it Obama, rather than Omaha.)

But in the end, I suppose, it doesn't really matter if the odds of it are 50,000:1 if you're the one.

Good night, I think I'm suffering from narcolepsy.